By Anonymous

No, that’s not a clickbait headline. I am a woman and any mention of International Women’s Day makes me roll my eyes.

Because to me, it now just feels like talk.

It’s obligatory marketing that all companies do internally and externally, year on year to be seen to be doing it. It feels like it means little, especially in a country as advanced in equal human rights as the UK in some areas but still seeing horrible violence against women (especially by the police). On top of that, each year they throw more and more jargon into the mix. And use guilt-tripping or faux-admiration as a means to spread their message.

Is it any wonder then that when there are so many social issues to care about and a cost of living crisis, more and more people feel their patience waning thin, leading to a rise in “woke fatigue”?

We all know or are exceptional women. What we all need, is to take a step back. In our pursuit of feminism, new issues have arisen.

1) We can’t do it all and there needs to be better education about balancing work with your fertility clock

There’s a reason people have said it takes a village to raise a child. It can’t be done alone whilst working a full time job and running a home. Women need support from wherever it is willing to come (partners, family, friends, community). Millennials grew up constantly hearing that women can have it all only to find that it’s impossible.

And we were raised to pursue our careers doggedly (nothing wrong with that), but without sufficient education about our biological clocks, fertility time period, egg freezing and IVF so there are now countless women who hit 30 and suddenly panic as they scramble to either have kids or save funds (If at all possible) to freeze their eggs.

We need to better education the next generation about work life balance now that everyone is working and their life options. Whilst we’re talking about education, we need more financial education too.

2) Men’s mental health matters too

As we ask for their allyship in our pursuit for greater freedom and equality, they need our allyship in discovering their new choices and options in this new world. There is an epidemic in men’s mental health. They were raised to be the primary (not only) breadwinners, to be protectors and defenders and to be strong always. Now they’re being told that nobody needs them, least of all women, there is no place for them in today’s society, they need to tone down their masculinity and yet, be man (read strong) enough to deal with all of this. Is there any wonder their suicide rate is 24.1 per 100,000 male deaths (compared to 7.1 per 100,000 female deaths)?

3) Women tear other women down more than anyone else

Women fight psychologically. No-one gate-keeps, gaslights or sabotages women more than other women. It makes all of the #bosswoman #womanpower social media “empowerment” feel unbelievable and annoying. Here’s the bottom line: don’t be dick. Just because you don’t have one, doesn’t mean you get to be one. Just be humble and kind, it’s really not that hard. No-one’s saying you have to be every woman’s greatest champion ever but if another woman is struggling, if you can, then just support her. If not, then just shut up. It’s like your mother taught you, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

4) The pandemic of violence against women isn’t abating

There are genuine, fundamentally structural issues about the way we raise our young and think as a society that is the cause for the perpetuating violence against women. There needs to be a fundamental change in education - and in how we approach young boys, as we try to uplift young girls - and leadership otherwise the stats and horror stories that come out every now and again won’t change.

Let us stop with this half-baked, commercial, activism-for-the-sake-of-appearances, one-day-a-year “celebration” of women and womanhood. It’s not working. Companies if you really want to help:

1) Pay women equally

2) Give them and fathers in your company, proper, paid parental leave

3) Stop discriminating against hiring women based on when you think they might have children or their plans to have children